Wash U Photo Captions http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com Captions more fitting for the ridiculous photos Wash U posts each day. Comments are welcome, likes are even more welcome. posterous.com Thu, 23 Jun 2011 11:59:00 -0700 Don't Believe It? Look at the Tables in the DUC During Lunch http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/dont-believe-it-look-at-the-tables-in-the-duc http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/dont-believe-it-look-at-the-tables-in-the-duc

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On the first day at their new school, freshmen meet a culturally diverse group of their new peers. On the second day, they begin self-segregating.

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Wed, 22 Jun 2011 11:15:00 -0700 Where There's Smoke, There's Fire? http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/where-theres-smoke-theres-fire http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/where-theres-smoke-theres-fire

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When evaluating the safety of Washington University, please note that most calls to the Fire Department don't involve fires, just smoking marijuana in the dorms.

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Wed, 22 Jun 2011 11:02:00 -0700 #WUSTL: Nearly all pinkos, socialists, or immigrants http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/wustl-nearly-all-pinkos-socialists-or-immigra http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/wustl-nearly-all-pinkos-socialists-or-immigra

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Nearly all students and faculty at Washington University are pinkos, socialists, or immigrants, but operates an ROTC program in order to throw the St. Louis County Tea Party Patriots off the scent. 

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Thu, 16 Jun 2011 11:46:00 -0700 The DUC Cafeteria: Now With 3 Michelin Stars http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/57434742 http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/57434742

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With its new all-you-can-eat lunch menu in the Danforth University Center, students can dine on foie gras, caviar, and a saffron-scented ahi tartare.

If that wasn't enough, the meals are prepared by Cosmo's Most Handsome College Chefs - including Executive Sous Chef David and WASH U PHOTO CAPTIONS founder Alex (back of head pictured on left).

 

 

Editor's note: When I was cooking for this event and the DUC was swarming with Wash U photographers, I was crossing my fingers (when I wasn't chopping tomatoes) that I'd show up on the homepage. What irony, right?!? Well, I did it. Mission Accomplished!

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Thu, 16 Jun 2011 11:30:00 -0700 This is what graduate students call sports http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/this-is-what-graduate-students-call-sports http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/this-is-what-graduate-students-call-sports

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Throwing styrofoam into a dumpster is a lot easier than shooting basketballs into hoops, which gives unathletic graduate students much needed self-confidence.

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Wed, 08 Jun 2011 15:49:00 -0700 Falling on deaf ears http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/falling-on-deaf-ears http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/falling-on-deaf-ears

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The Washington University Philosophy Department is looking to capitalize on the audience-less programming of the school's student-run radio station, KWUR, to test the core principle of the eternal question: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

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Wed, 08 Jun 2011 15:38:00 -0700 Death Panels, WashU style http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/death-panels-washu-style http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/death-panels-washu-style

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Committed to being a part of the solution to our nation's Medicare problem, the Washington University Medical School's MedPrep program seeks to keep down health care costs by assigning pre-medical students to elderly patients with the hopes that their piss-poor care will kill the patients. 

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Mon, 06 Jun 2011 22:20:00 -0700 Gargoyles on the Women's Building...or should we say Woolf's Den? http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/gargoyles-on-the-womens-buildingor-should-we http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/gargoyles-on-the-womens-buildingor-should-we

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Built in 1928, the exterior walls of the Ann W. Olin Women's Building were fitted with many examples of a woman's role in life after college: to be seen and not heard.

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Sat, 04 Jun 2011 09:21:08 -0700 June 2--WU is our color, and WU is our other color http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/june-2-wu-is-our-color-and-wu-is-our-other-co http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/june-2-wu-is-our-color-and-wu-is-our-other-co

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Cute and intellectual, these exceptional sorority girls hold a gender empowering discussion about how much they sold for at their chapter's latest date auction.

 

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Fri, 03 Jun 2011 06:10:00 -0700 June 1--Nostra culpa http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/june-1-nostra-culpa http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/june-1-nostra-culpa

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A rogue web administrator set this tableau as the background photo in clear violation of the Office of Undergraduate Admissions' policy of having at least three minorities visible in every published photo. We regret the error and assure you that the guilty party was fired and now updates Fontbonne University's MySpace page.

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Tue, 31 May 2011 20:55:00 -0700 Doing the tango with Bristol http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/doing-the-tango-with-bristol http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/doing-the-tango-with-bristol

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Frustrated by its lack of famous alumni, Washington University recently embarked on a $3 million initiative to bolster its ballroom dance program in hopes that WashU students will become the celebrities' professional dance partners on ABC's hit show, "Dancing With The Stars". 

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Mon, 30 May 2011 15:45:00 -0700 The only thing missing is an acoustic guitar http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/the-only-thing-missing-is-an-acoustic-guitar http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/the-only-thing-missing-is-an-acoustic-guitar

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Humanities courses at Washington University provide students access to classic texts that probe the vast expanses of the human experience, including the question of whether leggings are indeed pants.

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Tue, 24 May 2011 15:42:49 -0700 May 24 - Again with the Not-Looking-At-What-You-Point-At http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/54272946 http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/54272946

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A successful collaboration between the English and Neurology Departments on the viability of omnipresence in the real world allows physicians to see where they are pointing no matter where they look.

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Wed, 18 May 2011 10:38:00 -0700 May 18 - Wash U Won't Let You Forget That It's Commencement Week http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-18-wash-u-wont-let-you-forget-that-its-co http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-18-wash-u-wont-let-you-forget-that-its-co

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While the 10, 25, and 50 year reunions are joyous occasions for returning alumni, many are saddened by the absence of TV personality Bob Ross, BFA in Painting '61, who is now painting the clouds above us and the trees around us.

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Tue, 17 May 2011 15:47:00 -0700 May 17 - You'll Never See Your Friends Again http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-17-youll-never-see-your-friends-again http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-17-youll-never-see-your-friends-again

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Within one year of undergraduates leaving Washington University, they realize that the real world blows and they'll never see their friends again. Most students either return to Washington University for graduate studies, or donate up to 20% of their salary to Alumni and Development's "Give Us Your Money Campaign."

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Tue, 17 May 2011 15:34:00 -0700 May 16 - Losing Chairs Left and Right http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-16-losing-chairs-left-and-right http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-16-losing-chairs-left-and-right

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Washington University physicicans attempt to combat the rising rates of obesity among Americans, especially after a record 43 chairs were broken at Commencement 2010 by massive spectators. 

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Fri, 13 May 2011 15:23:00 -0700 May 13 - Club Oso http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-13-club-oso http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-13-club-oso

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Each Spring, DJ Markey Mark spins the latest house and dubstep to lure in the sloppiest club kids in the six-county area to Club Oso, a desparate attempt by Washington University to finally seem cool.

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Thu, 12 May 2011 15:16:00 -0700 May 12: Now Sponsored By... http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-12-now-sponsored-by http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-12-now-sponsored-by

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Washington University promotes students to install energy-efficient lightbulbs, but only as long as they still run on Peabody Coal, the clean energy source of the future!

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Wed, 11 May 2011 21:03:00 -0700 May 11 - Preparing For College http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-11-preparing-for-college http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-11-preparing-for-college

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With its recent skyrocketing in national rankings, students wishing to attend Washington University must start studying for the SAT in elementary school - unless of course you are from the Upper East Side or Long Island, in which case your father's donation to the Engineering School will be greatly appreciated! *wink*

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Tue, 10 May 2011 14:16:00 -0700 May 10 - Preventing Invasion Species http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-10-preventing-invasion-species http://washuphotocaptions.posterous.com/may-10-preventing-invasion-species

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Since 2008, Washington University has been a worldwide leader in resarch to stop the spread of the genus Palin.

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